Matthew
5:16
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good
works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. This was written
in response to calls received by members who have had problems
with narcissistic people, some in ministry, some in church and
regular people they have had to deal with.
Folks
do you know, or have you meet people who won't let you get a word
in edge wise? Ever sit with people in a group where someone lectured,
rather than just talking to everyone? Have you known or meet people
who made it impossible to discuss anything without them telling
you you're wrong and they know a better way? I deal with this
on a daily basis, everyone knows more than I do, or so they think.
Folks these people can be extremely exhausting and very annoying.
We must show them mercy and pray for their lack of understanding
of others feelings, regardless of how much they annoy us!
James 2:13
- For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy.
Mercy triumphs over judgment. Does anyone not want a merciful
judgment from God, before whom all must stand? The secret to being
able to show mercy is to realize where they're coming from. There
are many options on how to handle these people now days. I like
to try and keep everything real and as simple as possible.
We
must understand that we do have a choice about how much we want
to, or have to take from them. Here is an example - There he/she
goes again, monopolizing the conversation, they know it all and
just can't shut up, they just cannot help themselves. " I
always think to myself there is not much in this world that is
worth arguing over, I know my thoughts or knowledge may exceeds
theirs. We just see things differently; that doesn't mean I am
stupid or wrong." Another way to respond would be to handle
it internally: We may decide to just mentally let it go. Basically
we tell ourselves, "This may not be pleasant for me, it may
even hurt at times, but the poor man or woman is doing what they
needs to do to get their feelings expressed, their needs are being
met, or their ego has been feed." Combine out internal empathy
(which, I will be the first to admit, isn't easy for me at times)
with the knowledge that their lecture may be directed at me or
others, but it doesn't really have anything to do with me as a
person, or my own level of knowledge. Folks it is always about
them: they literally can't help themselves. "If they think
they can impress you with something you didn't know, then they
feel good about themselves, at least momentarily.
Narcissistic
people will always do the same over and over, because their egos
are insatiable." We must remember suffering through a one
sided conversation is our own choice, "We
know that we don't even have to listen unless we have chosen
to. If we do get overwhelmed despite our careful responses, it's
our choice to say, "Excuse me, that was interesting, but
I have to go." You can let your light shine at times by showing
mercy and walking away, proving points is not important if we
do not have and ego problem ourselves. Please remember I do not
expect anyone to believe what I believe, nor do I ask them to.
God bless everyone!
™Chaplain
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